Spotless Mind

Today, I write about a final goodbye to Bumble, a dating app that, like many people my age, I had once ventured into. It was some years back when a friend of mine once mentioned the app where she had met her then-fiancé. A few months later, I was alone during Eid in Germany when it occurred to me, “Why not sign up for Bumble? Let's... let's socialise!” I had little intention of finding a suitor; I was more interested in finding a buddy. That started my journey with Bumble. Some years later or, as I call it- “now”- the road with Bumble ends.  Now, after so many years, the decision to finally shut off Bumble felt both radical and necessary.  Let's dive deeper into what led me to ending it.  During those years, people in Kreis Kleve still seemed to rely mostly on meeting in person. Perhaps at Vaterstag, Karneval, community clubs, or simply through everyday social circles. Expats like me, probably on some peripheral nights when loneliness crept in, turned to such apps to ki...

Did it ever happen to you? No matter how far you've come, how much you've achieved, or how much life you've lived, there are moments when a memory returns with an unexpected heaviness. It makes you pause, question yourself, and wonder about the person you were and the person you've become. Perhaps it happens after a loss. Perhaps while reconstructing yourself amidst the expectations of the world. Or perhaps it is simply time asking us to stop, reflect, and learn. But do we? When this happens, I close my eyes. And I go back to January 1, 2020. A café in Bastille, Paris. A winter morning and Edith Piaf playing softly somewhere from the café in the background. I had intended to spend a slow morning by myself. After changing subway lines more times than I can remember, I simply wandered around Bastille. By letting Paris charm me. It was gloomy and bitterly cold for a New Year's tourist. There were churches, street musicians, Parisian restaurants, and hurried footsteps. ...

  A very quiet Friday evening, perhaps. I had just finished watching Julie & Julia (2009). As the credits were rolling, a moment of awakening struck me. It felt like a quiet invitation. An invitation to return to a blog that had been waiting for me all these years. I'd be lying if I said it was "a" moment; it is a collection of moments that have been hammering me for the last year. It was a soul's call to return to blog-writing. So, I've returned... once again. With more experiences, life stories, feelings, insights and perhaps a tiny bit of maturity. Welcoming myself again and to the readers- on Spotless Mind! Spotless Mind was left with so many memories. A memory of a teenage girl who dreamt of being a storyteller someday. Then a very different young adult life. A life in university, graduation-to-postgraduation, relocation in Europe, another postgraduation... romance, love, travel, friendship, loneliness, reclamation, the pandemic, AI, and countless moments...